1 More Day...to fight
I was am the youngest of 4 children – I have 2 older brothers – 14 years and 10 years apart and then I have a sister 2 years older than me
My sister was born after 2 boys and then 8 years. Can you imagine how spoiled she was? She was the first girl and the boys were in that funky teenage stage where they were stinky. Then along comes a precious little baby girl and to top it off – she was born on Feb 14 – Valentine’s day
She was definitely a valentines baby – an easy baby – always dressed in pink and rufflesalways smiling and when she giggled – everyone giggled – it was contagious
She loved dolls, frilly things, smelly things and girly things. She didn’t like sports unless she was dressing up her dolls to attend the event.
Then there was me. I was born in April – due on the first – but made my mom wait…so I came in my time.
There was nothing frilly about me except for the fact that my mom insisted that my sister and me match in those Sunday dresses with bonnets. It was dreadful. My sister was my best friend – no doubt but in no way was she my buddy. She would beg me to play with her – that meant barbies – we had to dress them up and accessorize each one multiple times. It was dreadful. I soon began seeking other ways to play – and found my way outside to a group of neighborhood friends who liked to play kickball, ride bikes, and throw any object that was round. This is what I am talking about it – I finally found a group where I belonged – no dress up, no dresses, and if you needed to go to the restroom – you didn’t go in groups or take too long- you just watered the neighbors plants.
Vernon, Mark, Marte, and Wayne- now those were my buddies. It was typical for us to argue now and then and sometimes the argument would progress into a fist fight. I usually stayed away from that because I could talk myself out of almost any predicament. However, I remember one time when we were picking teams for softball and Vernon – my bff – chose Wayne – WHAT? How could that be? I was his BFF! He said – Man, I want to win and you throw like a girl
Whether spoken to a guy to guy, boy to girl, woman to man – it is not meant to be a complement. No, it is hurled in response to a weak punch, a scratch, or even a cheap shot. So why would I be encouraging anyone to fight like a girl.
It was at that time I decided I would never be accused of fighting like a girl again – I learned how to run faster, throw harder, and hit until it bled. I became who those boys thought I should be. I was tough. I could handle it. I would never be caught running home to my daddy.
And so it began – a life of listening to what others said I should be. A constant fight to be good enough, smart enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, tough enough, gentle enough, - a constant battle to fix things by myself.
And every fight – I was left wounded and scarred – for the more I fought – the more I needed to fight. I was so tired and bruised.
For 30+ years I was always fighting, - all alone - for someone, against someone, or fighting within. God was with me but I didn’t think I needed him.
Don’t get me wrong – it wasn’t all bad – I fought for those who couldn’t fight for themselves, spoke for those who had no voice, fought against what society said about today’s teenagers, fought to save every child I met….
But hear me – I took on this responsibility to fix everyone and fix myself. I so longed for someone to save me – to rescue me – but I had shunned every help that was every offered. I remember when my sister and I were very young playing in the tub and we both fell on the tile floor when we got out. I remember by father rushing in and picking up my sister –
It wasn’t that he loved her more – he just always thought I was tough enough to handle things myself. In fact, several times growing up – my sister was saved and my dad told me he knew I could handle it on my own – so I did.
This was the life I led -
So when January rolled around that year – I decided my word of the year would be warrior – for I would continue to fight the good fight with God by my side. I often had chosen words of the year that were really tough but I thought wow – this is a great one –
I participated in the Warrior Dash with my good buddy as a symbolic way to show this fight.
January 2011 – Year of the Warrior –
Look at me…there was nothing I couldn’t do
I had the helmet - ;-)
But you know – we serve a God who never rests and loves us so – he allowed me to go through one of the worst seasons of my life that spring. I had several people who created lies about my daughter and me that caused so much pain and anguish. It was not a fight I could fight. I always knew there would be people that didn’t like me but I had no idea there would be people who were out to destroy me. And to use my child –
These people were out to bring disgrace to me, to my daughter, to my workplace – to those who hired me – they were out for my job, my reputation – and when I looked for support from my authorities =, there was doubt.
Needless to say – this was a battle I couldn’t fight – in fact – I couldn’t move. For once in my life, I couldn’t fix it. I called out to God- and was told to simply stand – stand firm – don’t run, don’t hide, just stand.
Over the next 3 months – I was pelted on every side. I simply stood. And while I stood, God was at war. He was teaching me how to fight like a girl.
Who you are in the fire is who you are. – and oh did I have some refining that needed to happen.
There is something of beauty to be learned from every dark and lonely place in our lives. It is in those times of obedience during suffering that we have an opportunity to experience our Father as more than enoughout of the rough material of our trials, He is more than willing to fashion objects of beauty.
I learned how to fight –
With wisdom
If we are going to fight like a girl – we have to get the truth right in our head. We must know who are.
Never before has it been so easy to access and research information more readily available, yet with all our collecting and ingathering there remains a famine of common sense and reason.
We absorb ceaseless information on multiple levels, yet far too often we lack any tangible transformation. Families are broken, marriages are fractured, our judicial systems at times are foolish, our leaders are often corrupt. Evil is called good, and good is called evil. Lies are broadcast as truth.
In Beth Moore’s Believing God, she says:
1 –We must believe I am who God says I am over the way I feel
1 John 3:1 “How great is the love the father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God.”
Eph 1:3-8 – “In love we are blessed, forgiven, redeemed, favored, adopted, and chosen.”
How we behave flows from what we think
Poor image followed by poor choices feeing a poorer self image and even poorer choices.
The enemy is afraid we will wake up and become who we truly are
We must:
2 – know who to fight
We are fighting the Enemy, not flesh and blood.
3 - know when to let go
Wise women know what to hold fast to and what to release, while foolish women hold on fast to what will kill them and release what will bring them life. Wise women hold on to the promises of God and let go of the things that poison or frustrate life.
With Friends
If I had cancer, I’d call all my prayer warriors and ask them to pray – yet when we are fighting mental wars – we are afraid to admit to one another we are struggling with depression, eating issues, unfaithfulness, etc.
Must call in a group – to surround us – to hold us up – to pray and encourage
With Accessories
Every woman likes accessories – ….but you must have the right ones or they become a distraction
Everything of beauty in my life has been birthed through the process of fire.
All you need to fight is a shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit.
I remember the first time my son was on the punt return team – He caught the ball and saw the big boys running at him. Tyler caught the ball and steps aside as if to say – by all means go ahead. Later he says mom you didn’t think I was going to let that big boy hit me did you? I did it for you….
Don’t think for a minute Satan is going to slow down when he sees you in the way. He has an arsenal of psychological weapons to keep your feet off promised ground. He will do anything to keep you from your God-ordained destiny. – He keeps trying
Discouragement or demoralization can occur when Satan figures out who you most fear you are and what you fear you cannot do – then Satan sets out to confirm it.
Must put on our armor – Eph 6:12-13
V 16 above all, taking the shield of faith wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked
When we respond to attacks of doubt, distortion, and deceit with the truth of God’s Word, the fiery dart is extinguished and the enemy takes another hit.
Again, from Beth Moore’s Believing God -
Practice raising your shield of faith –
God is who he says he is
He is your warrior – your rock and shield
God can do what he says he can do
More than you can ask, save you from the deepest pit.
I am who God says I am.
I can do all things through Christ.
Nothing I can’t do
God’s word is alive and active in me
Whatever he has said is playing out in me
You can’t be an overcomer if you never overcome anything. You can’t be a victor without an opponent. In God’s economy – much of what is worth having is worth fighting for…
More often than not, happy endings come only after there has been a battle waged with evil.
It’s time to fight –
The enemy is out to get you, your kids, your husband; he is out to discourage you making you think you are not good enough.
Raise up that shield girlfriend! You got this.